I had a writing block for two weeks ya'll and I thought about it and panicked and worried about it and felt like had nothing of interest to say. The more I stayed away from blogville tennessee, the harder it felt to go back- I think it is may a case of e.g. running: if you dont exercise go for two weeks, you will suffer on your first day back at it.
It is kind of good I did not go on internet for two weeks as I felt my brain was going crazy/imploding and I was being mean and angry to people. I felt depressed about 'things' but I turned a new leaf for first time in about 4 months on thursday. I usually note things down everyday- things that inspire me/ things I want to ask you guys/ topics of convo etc. But for days and days and then weeks and weeks, I started to feel like nothing was fun or exciting anymore and that nothing was worth anything, void of inspiration. I wanted to shut up. I wanted my brain to shut up. And so it did.
Sometimes it is hard when you have wanted something for a very long time. Success can eat you alive and also lift you high. I have not tasted the kind of success that I crave yet but I suppose I am on 'this road' and have found I have had to make some significant decisions the past 2 months that have made me question who I want to be/ How I want to live my life/ What kind of message I want to give out. I have been a Moaning Minnie in some blog posts. Sometimes I cringe and wish I had never written them. I cringe to think I may have been exposed as weak/ low self esteem/ lacking in self belief when in reality I can take quite a lot of bullshit and I believe in my abilities to the bitter end. I guess the internets became my 'friend' as I could confide and reveal everything that was in my head without getting tongue-tied and being embarrassed/ experiencing social discomfort.
This brings me onto my topic of the day: Internet dating.
It is a tricky subject as even if any of you have done it, nobody will admit to doing it. Internet dating is preserved for freaks & loser only, right? People seem really prejudiced about the topic but it seems a more logical/ admirable way of meeting 'compatible' people for friendship/ otherwise at times than snorting some kind of horse tranquilizer in a ''kool lundun hangout''/ translation: Shyte-hole of the East.
In the beginning, in 1997, we all knew that it was only geeks/ socially inept/ divorced + old people who went on 'AOL Chat Roomz' to find 'the love of their lives'. The idea of finding someone on the internet was slightly exotic but also creepy. But as the internet grew, so did Internet dating. Last year, I noticed a slew of adverts all over London Underground Transport about ''Match.com'' and other such sites. Around that time, I remember being in a vintage store in Brick Lane where I heard two middle aged ladies talking about some dating site where the men and women asked each other if they were 'homeowners' before agreeing to go on a date. How she had gone on a date with some idiot (sounded like he was gay tbh) who made her feel even more desperate about her singleton status. Are we all a bit work- money -success mad nowadays? Do women and men really have no time to meet anymore? What followed were statistics in newspapers about ''lonely londoners'' about how women were choosing careers over men and babies and had no time to find hot dudes and how apparently 30% of londoners used dating sites. Higher percentage than I would've thought.
I can see the pros . I have seen the pros. It is hard enough to find one person you can 'love' in the whole of the UK, let alone London. I have only had 3 boyfs in 8 years so I am no expert but I have never found someone special 'normally' in a pub/ club / 'socialising hot spots' in London.
When Myspace and Facebook came along, it started to become slightly more acceptable to get to know people in this way. I met one of my now best friends on Myspace. I think he is a bit embarrassed about the way we met but I am not. I remember telling everyone in such an excited way, as if this was the new way of making friends- assuming Myspace was a gold mine of compatible people, just waiting out there to befriend you (LOL- WAKE UP, MARINA).
He changed everything and my life quite literally did a U-turn through knowing him. So Internet dating suddenly got opened up to hot people and was not just cornered off for freaks anymore and thanks to Myspace, 1 million emo guys + girls got it on, judgement-free, between 2004-2008 - R.I.P Myspace.
Makes me wonder, yall. All these social networking sites.. are they ruining our friendships or opening up a new world where we can find people with similar interests much more easily? What is this culture of self-obsession-Twitter-status-thingy leading to? A life lived out on the internet? Cause that is totally possible.. all you need is to have your groceries delivered to your door each week (go tesco.com to order). I dont even like Twatter but I have an account- I deleted the first one because I decided Twitter was bad for friendships/ the human race, only to cave and set up 'The Diamonds Club'' 2 weeks later. Now I can't delete the second one cause A) I will look like an unhinged moron B) It is now (correctly) considered a 'work tool' in the music industry. I am stuck with Twitter- I don't not like it but I don't actually like it. I don't know what to do. Seems like one more thing to worry about. Maybe life is full of those. Myspace dies, FaceyB is dying and Twitter is ruling now.
Wonder whether we will all bother going out for 'a coffee and a chat' in 30 yrs or have an emotional need for relationships past our husband/wife? Why bother when you can see what all your friends are doing every min of the day, what a great night they're having, how in love they, who did what 'crazy' thing at a partay?
To drive my point home, my best friend saw sites like Myspace as 'a filter'. You could tell whether you would get on with someone a lot more quickly through e-mails/ music tastes etc.
What do you think yall?
-What is your fave way to meet people?
-Do you use the internet for more than 2+ hours a day to 'keep in touch' with people?
-Is this weird/ unatural? Is just how our generation is evolving?
- Have you met someone on the internet before- boy or girl, friendly or otherwise?
- If not, would you?
Would love to know your thoughts.
