SHOW THEM WHAT I GOT.

Had a bit of a tumble the other day yall :-(

Have been obsessed with running (this won't last). Have been getting up at 7am everyday to go to a piece of green land known to Londoners as Play-den for The Gays a.k.a Hampstead Heath. Two days ago I got all macho and confident thinking that I could up my jogs from 45 mins to 90- that i was... SUDDENLY BORN TO RUN! I AM A BIRD! THIS DOES NOT FEEL THAT BAD! OLYMPIANS ARE HAVING IT EASY! What a dick.

I collapsed after around 56 mins in something that I can only identify as a 5 second black out. I think this was caused by not having stuffed a chocolate down my pie hole for 34 minutes. Incidentally I was listening to 'Poker Face' by Gag Gag. The last words I heard before 'The Collapse' being 'I'll get him hot- show him what I got'. .. Just. imagine. If I had died (blatantly in a freak joggers R' Us death). Imagine if those had been the last words I heard. Freaked me out yall.

It reminded me of the time my friend Michael said how awful it would be if you died with a packet of Snack-a-jacks found on you. I found this a weird remark to make but I now like it and understand for reasons I cannot express well here. Do Snack-a-jacks* say a lot about life? Would YOU be bothered if they were on your personal being when found post-mortem?

What would be the most embarassing way to die? My friends and I used to think the worst way would be for the big Doc Martens boot in Camden to fall on your head.

Imagine. 'Killed by Doc Marten'. Awful.




What food item would you least like to be found carrying ? (You cant name stuff that you dont actually eat in real life)

Thoughts pls.

PS sorry all blogs are about death. If I were Oprah Winfrey, I would tell yall that I were going through a 'period of 'change'. Lulzz.

*Snack-a-Jacks are a low calorie, low fat rice cake snack. Usually caked in sweet or savoury powder to fool you into thinking that they are scrumptious.

TAKE MA PICTURE.

This is hot

AND THE CAT TALKED BACK AT ME.

I had a dream about a cat last night. A dusty grey fiend that was semi-kitten, semi-adult, very defiant, mouthy and troublesome. I felt upset about the dream when I woke up and was left feeling many emotions, fear being the main one.

The interesting thing about the dream was that the cat could talk. I googled 'dream interpretations' immediately and apparently talking animals symbolised superior wisdom & a desire to express something in real life whilst cats represented female eroticism, creativity, independence and a repressed desire for freedom.

The whole dream was based around me thinking there was something wrong with the cat and that it must be carried by me everywhere until I could get to my Father's house in Greece, where it would be contained and safe. I kept it close to my stomach under my shirt until its fur got damp and matted from perspiration, then I would have to move it around. At some point it would get limp and I would freak out that I'd hurt it- then it would yowl again and I would struggle to regain control of it. The cat was quite mean and resentful of me. It was talking at me the whole time, complaining that I never let it be free and that it was uncomfortable in its current condition. I was very afraid of it escaping. The dream involved much stress as I tried to run about the city finding the cat a safe home. I was so scared to let it go.

I feared it because I could not control it.

It wriggled so much.

My heart beat fast the whole night long.

You can never tell a cat what to do.


Q: Have any of your dreams ever been genuinely symbolic of a situation/ an event going on in your life?

MUTE ME.

Hello

I have lost my voice due to talking and singing for 48 hrs at Camden Crawl Festival. It was worth it though. Loved all the promo and seriously loved the gigs- especially the Popjustice one.

I am now on a speech diet and therefore cannot talk for 48 hrs to ensure that i am all recovered for the 4 day festival marathon that will ensue next thursday. This is proving to be hard. But kind of nice too. Dont have to speak to people (h8 socialising) and I am being forced to do normal stuff like fry an egg, take a walk in the woods and think of new exciting ideas for The Diamonds Club.

Above is one of my new prezz shotz. It was everyone's least favourite so I think I'm able to put it up here. The rest will be revealed soon. They are VERY colourful!

Also, something quite important.

I have given up smoking. I have wanted to for so long but each time I thought ' oh i'll do it soon', however its now been 3 years and though I only smoked 3-4 a day, I dread to think how my poor lungs look. It's such a dirty, gross habit and I am regularly left thinking 'whats the point' so let's just do something about that.
Doubt I would be able to do long tours either without getting sick, so it's goodbye to cancer, hello to 7am jogs to get fit for the gruelling choreography i'm about to put into the shows. Singing and dancing isnt hard co-ordination-wise. But you seriously need to be fit. Dunno if people realise that? Britney is on to a good thing.

What is the hardest thing you have ever had to give up and why?

GOLDEN SUMMER.

Begins tomorrow with the Camden Crawl. I'll be doing two acoustic shows for mtv and ray ban and then a big band fiasco for popjustice in the evening.

A look into my touring wardrobe for this summer. Its embarassing that this only makes up for 1/4 of it



I have also had my hair cut again! Can you se the diff? can u you see the diff?? No, As per usual.

H8 non-life transforming hair cuts..
But love long hair.
Love pink frosting lipstick like i am some kind of internet mail order bride.



This is what i bought yesterday. I fee amazing. Like one of those fat old jazz musicians from the Simpsons.



Night sweet world!

NEON DIAMONDS CONTINUE SONIC LOVE AFFAIR.

Very happy to announce...

I am releasing my 2nd single on the 1st June through Neon Gold Records. It'll be part of a sparkling package now named 'THE CROWN JEWELS EP' and will feature the following tracks:

1 I am not a Robot
2 Seventeen
3 Simplify
4 Robot Remix

Formats: 7" and iTunes.

Artwork: revealed soon!

Release regions: USA and Europe

Eeeeek...! VERY excited. The title will all make sense soon.

Ill let you guys know more info as and when.

CAN I HAVE YOUR BRAIN PLEASE. (PS. THANKS)

Watched the news before leaving the hotel this morning and felt bemused. News readers looked horrified as they were 'forced' to read out a news bulletin that pleaded for us to donate our brains to research for Parkinson's disease. They looked so sickened and uncomfortable. What? Why?

Note: some people may find this post offensive. I'm not sure why, but if you are very religious or just touchy about death, then maybe go away for a bit. I don't mean harm but I am interested to know what the general consensus is.

Just dont get human beings. Think it is really nonsensical that some people do not want to donate their body/ organs to medical research. How can you be so precious about offering your body parts to science when maggots will eat and shit their way through your skin, veins and internal organs when you're buried? People need to get real. I know ritual and tradition have a lot to do with this- its a sensitive topic and I mean NO disrespect. But if scientists maybe showed people what a rotting corpse looked like after being buried for 6 months, i think everyone would feel less precious about donating their organs to a good cause. Medical research done using human bodies in the past 100 years has probably saved your life 5-6 times already. However YOU dont feel the need to give anything back because you want your corpse to remain beautiful and at peace in your minds eye? Is this not a little one sided?

Going back to the news report, why is a brain different to your heart / lungs/ legs? You will be dead.. Therefore 'probably' aren't going to want to use your old body too much when you busy eating Philadelphia Light on wheat crackers with 'Da angels' in heaven.

What do you all feel?
Does the thought of being buried comfort you because its the normal thing to do?
Do you plan to be cremated/ other?
What made you make this decision? Family, Tradition, Religion, Personal choice?
Is being buried in a cardbox coffin'disrespectful'? Or 'smart' and economical?

Not saying either option is bad or good. It's your body and its your choice what you do with it at the end of the day. Just want to hear your thoughts.

THAT TIME I AUDITIONED FOR A BOY BAND.

"Marina on Lady Gaga, record deals & dressing like a homeless person- at powerfulpeanuts.com"

I FOUND A HOME IN YOUR EYES.

Above are photox from last night's gig at Limbo in Edinburgh. More on Flickr i think.

On tour at the moment in Scotland and just did the most enjoyable gig I have EVER played at Twisted Wheel in Glasgow. The crowd were just ... wonderful. I am full of genuine happiness right now. Dont know if u can tell, but I am saying thank you to the diamonds whilst makeup runs down my face in a Premier Binn hotel room







Off to Aberdeen tomorrow. You guys better be rowdy else I'll be totals disappointed. Then to a fishing village on sunday to play HOMEGAME Festival. Apparently its beautiful there. Also had a lovely feature today in scotland's The Daily Record paper. And an interview with a funny guy from The Sun/ Peanuts blog. Starting to love the Scotties and may never come back.




This is literally all I live for. I feel so ahppy for once!

HURTED MY MOUF.

Went to dentists today. £546 of pain. Getting my teef done. Gonna be pretty in 5 more appointments time (My family tooth DNA is that bad).

Thought it was gonna hurt. Didnt at all. And when it did, actually felt kinda nice. Like the pain that occurs when you get your leg waxed: at first you are shocked and keep telling yourself ' just fucking walk out of the room, just go right now whilst the beautician's back is turned'. Then the pain feels nice and you want it MORE & MORE.

Its interesting how we are all so hair-ist. As if women were meant to be magical hairless beings. Not shaving your legs is like nature's chastity belt for slutty gals yall.

Lol everything very hilarious tonight.

What happened today yall?

I did a shoot today for French fashion mag MIXTE. Stood freezing cold on the roof of a warehouse in Hackney Wick with soaking wet hair wearing a mans coat. Wonder if they sell MIXTE in the uk. Wonder what will be my first cover shoot. I really hope it is something like Pyschologies. I LOVE that mag.

Tomorrow Im going in to BBC 1 to record my first 'jingle' for Radio 1's Big Weekend. I would like to be friends with radio presenters more than i would like to be friends with pop stars and indie bands. Because I feel like I know them already and because they always sound friendly.

I then have a rehearsal with my musicians in afternoon. Then go home, pack for tour and call momma. I am leaving for Scotland on thursday morning. I cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!! I heart tour. I heart performing. I heart you.

MCDONALDS MUSIC.

In the beginning, Lady Gaga made me feel like this.

I thought her music, her looks, her packaging, her 'message' was tired, contrived and fake. I felt unable to relate to it and even though I could see that on paper she ticked off all the pop star boxes, the whole thing seemed to lack genuine meaning and soul. The fact that the whole album was based around fame/ celebrity/ material goods/ modern society seemed hollow and boring. However.. I have absolutely changed my mind. I might even go far as saying that she is extremely intelligent and is the closest thing we have had to a conceptual pop artist since the days of Madonna.

Why The Gaga Project works?

She is the embodiment of our society's obsessions/ desire for 'celebrity' culture and is the epitome of the word 'empty'. Growing up in a world where the media chooses to document a star's 5lb weight gain over a presidential election feels weird to many of us and she is the product of living in a world where money, glamour and status are favoured over everything else until life begins to lacks meaning.She feels like the poster child of 'fake' celebrity / 'fake' stardom and 'fake' glamour. Though she is a star. It is a contradiction within a contradiction and this is what makes her so good. She represents the hollow desire that I think a lot of young people have these days to Be somebody/ Be Famous/ Be rich/ Be beautiful/ Because being 'you' is not enough.

So. I still dont 'love' her but I find her interesting, hardworking and talented. Even though her verses and choruses sometimes feel a little bit 'cut and paste' like she has just sat in a studio and been told to write a pop song, i don't mind. Even if you stripped her of all her shingaling, she would be normal/almost unattractive. I kind of like that though.

Now Lady Gaga makes me feel like this.


Thoughts, diamonds?

THE DIAMONDS CLUB.

Want to say thank you to The Diamonds.

Want to say your advice on yest's post gave me perspective and I feel much better now. I think I panic too much and i know that. This just all means so much to me though and i would prefer to not exist than fail
.
I think the 'The Diamonds Album Club' will become 'The Diamonds Club'. A place for yall of us. I am aiming to get something in place as soon as i can. For now, I have a private Twitter under TheDiamondsClub. I will give all Diamonds Club private updates from there when the club is born! (kicking in the womb right now)

EASTER SOUNDTRACK

I have been listening to Royksopp album all day. It is the best thing I have heard in ages.

"The girl and the Robot" ft. Robyn- Royksopp it makes me feel sick inside. It invades and penetrates your stomach i swear. The chord changes almost make my intestines grind. I cant describe why but thats why it is so v special.

Hot like Fire- by The XX. You NEED to check this duo out. They are excellent.

Pieces of You- by Wolfgang . Super classic, super good.

Whole f*cking album- by Erik Hassle. It is the ultimate pop album of the year (by a guy ofcourse <3)

Love you Diamonds x

BOOBS.

Isn't it funny how big breasts are considered sexy/ desirable in our culture though most high street shops do not stock bras bigger than a size D cup? I find this frustrating. I am a 32 on my back and a '____' cup and finding it increasingly hard to find good bra.

Feel my pain here and here:

Examples of bras that my 'type' can buy..

*cry*.



Where can I go yall? i am happy for what nature gave me but where do i have to go to get a bra that doesn't look totally heinous and like it has been made for a large vintage grannymobile.

h8 boobs yall. Where do pornstars go? Guess they dont need clothes. When they do they probs just go to Foot Locker and buy baseball caps . Wonder if they keep the shiny stickers on like all the flyboyz do.

This bra is pretty cool.



Here is a flattering photograph of me in the studio in Brighton clutching a pillow (rest ur head on it in flights). Thanks to Biff Stannard for lending me props to create this blog-themed photograph.

GAY CARTOON CHARACTERS.

On the back of the mighty tour bus. We just did a gig in a library in Lancaster. It was lovely to play with the bookends and the crowd was super sweet. Dont think my performance was worth more than 6/10 so feel grumpy. (What is new this week?)

Tour bus talk reaches a new low as the topic of buying wolf piss on the internet hits the fan, 1.5 mins into the journey. Apparently 'Urban' foxes can be scared away from eating your cat/ baby by strategically placing wolf wee wee around the garden. Also available in Coyote, Mountain Lion and Bobcat?

Go wild at Http://www.predatorpee.com/!



(Wow. I feel like I havent even lived.)

Topic of the day. Ever noticed how many gay characters there were in cartoons when you were kid, that you didn't even clock onto until you were 23? Yep. This gay-train of thought first began on the way back from brighton when i witnessed a lesbian conductor giving a fine to a chav. I observed that almost all women who work on london transport seem to be lesbian. Weird! Any lesbians out there can you help me out with this? Is it because straight gals aren't assertive enough/ they're scared they'll get their fingernails dirty etc etc?

In airports also there are many lesbian women working on security/ passport check etc. Sometimes I kind of enjoy being felt up in security. I dont think it is that weird. Its kind of like a 20 second body stroke. A free massage if you will. Its like when you used to make your mum check your hair for nits in school even though you knew you had none. Jus' wanted a stroke, thassal....

Amazing gay cartoon characters in history, as follows:

Peppermint Patt from Snoopy

She has a deep, gravelly voice and always wears pants, not dresses, like the other Peanuts gals. She also plays a mean game of football and likes to taunt Charlie Brown. She's most definitely sleeping with the rather androgynous Marcie.

Velma from Scooby Doo



Wake UP yallll.


Beavis and Butthead

Their homophobia merely masks the fact that they are freaked out about the fact that they are themselves the gayest thing in town.



He-Man

Definitely one of those butch in the streets, femme in the sheets queens. If he were a real person He-Man would be the type of guy who works out at the gym and spends his weekends gurning on ketamin at some of the less salubrous gay nightspots in town.


Enter Snagglepuss.

What a lad.



Also, now watching cartoons as an adult, i realise that most of the creators/ script writers must either be insane or sold their souls to acid in 1973.



PS- Does anyone remember Button Moon.. I long for button moon like i longed to put Rohypnol in Zac from Saved by the Bell's drink when i hit puberty.

DONT GIVE UP.

Back from New York.

Feel happy but also sad and unpopular and like world hates me. Feel like i could rule the world but also fear in reality i am big failure who is rubbish friend/ deluded/ crap at love etc.

Feel greedy and horrible for spending all money in new york.

Feel mean for being mean person in life.

Feel like i do not want to grow up to be twat face celeb. Have been thinking deeply about the notion of fame and celebrity and what it actually means, what i would personally gain from it and how one can get to a point where one doesn't want attention/ recognition for unhealthy reasons eg "Oh Hey i have a gaping, gangrenous hole for a heart and and i want everyone to love me for no reason whatsoever". Cause most Famouses seem pretty fucked up and weird and not very loved in reality because they love themselves too much to form real, stable relationships. The ones that are normal and kind and add something to pop culture are the ones worth the space.

I have always really admired people like Madonna for doing what they want, for being disciplined when the rest of the world cant be bothered and for staying focused on their goals until they achieve them. But it freaks me out when I realise most of these people are now really fucked up or sad and I just wonder what it's all really about..

Dont want to be like the unhealthy celebs. All those people who gossip and care about material shit, their $11k bags, whats in fashion, who is having sex with who etc. I am as prone as anyone to the media/ celebrity but its so diseased and wrong and damaging and not what any of us should be wasting our time on. Where are all the old fashioned people in the world. Why do i never meet them. Feel like i dont want to go to any parties and that everyone in the world is crazy amazing fun party animal except for me and that i am just a boring girl and ''all i wanna do is take ugly dogs for a walks".*

*To get me through this difficult time in life, i am playing Hassle's 'Love me to pieces' for 5 hrs now.


PS. I am not in any way considering myself a 'celeb 'in this post.

PPS. Everything in this post is aimed at myself.